Reader matter:
While I had been more youthful (I’m 27 now), I was a jerk. We lied, cheated, made use of drugs, failed to value my look, had no talent or education, had been regarding shape. And ladies ADORED myself.
We now have a fantastic job, a broad group of friends, a healthy human body, imaginative skill and razor-sharp clothing. I’m handsome, truthful, nice, comprehending, knowledgeable. Now that I obtained my life with each other, women don’t appear really thinking about myself at all.
Tend to be ladies threatened by myself? Will they be turned off since it is me fixing me, maybe not them? Would ladies like jerks?
-John (Maryland)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Dear John,
We smell anything a little fishy.
Although you paint a familiar image of exactly how some women with a stressed connection style get activated by contradictory terrible boys, Im some skeptical that ladies tend to be rejecting you since you are a good man.
Indeed, i am also a tiny bit suspicious that you may have undergone a personality and ethical improvement of such magnitude this kind of a short span of time.
Granted, kicking a medication routine can simply transform one’s character, so your story are entirely true.
Or simply you happen to be nonetheless inside «working actually, very hard to change» phase and therefore are feeling only a little resentful that the type building you’ve got accomplished is going undetected.
One easy location to direct that resentment is actually toward women that tend to be ignoring you.
Please know one of several things that takes place when some one cleans upwards their particular life and gets a unique task is that they enter another peer class, one which might bring some social anxiety.
You stepped-up to a different category, son. Congrats. And there are very different social guidelines in that group.
My recommendation: hold off and view. Then you’ll definitely know exactly just how to act whenever the appropriate girl comes into your own radar.
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